Cream of the Crop 20/Cream of the Crop 20 (Terry Blount) (1996).iso/database/tdihroy1.zip/WIT.WIT

Text File | 1996-05-30 | 15KB | 269 lines

W0101     Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
W0102     Every Titanic has its iceberg.
W0103     An honest politician: One who stays bought.
W0104     A closed mouth gathers no foot.
W0105     What`s the most popular form of birth control?   The headache.
W0106     Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
W0107     Whatever advice you give, be brief.
W0108     He who laughs last probably doesn`t understand the joke.
W0109     Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
W0110     If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
W0111     When in doubt, make it sound convincing.
W0112     A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
W0113     When all else fails, read the directions.
W0114     If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
W0115     If reality wants to get in touch with me, it knows where I am.
W0116     When forced to choose between two evils, try the new one.
W0201     Every human being comes equipped with a brain at no extra cost.
W0202     To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
W0203     To save one life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.
W0204     To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult,
W0204     to criticize the competent.
W0205     There`s so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.
W0206     There`s at least one fool in every married couple.
W0207     There is always someone worse off than yourself.
W0208     The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
W0209     The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
W0210     Statistics are often used as a drunk uses a light pole:
W0210     For support rather than illumination.
W0301     The plural of spouse is spice.
W0302     The only rose without thorns is friendship.
W0303     The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn`t.
W0304     The light of a hundred stars doesn't equal the light of the moon.
W0305     He who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn`t been asleep.
W0306     The hardest thing to do is to disquise your feelings when sending
W0306     a large crowd of visiting relatives home.
W0307     The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth
W0307     and sharpen my tongue.
W0308     The best prophet of the future is the past.
W0309     The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
W0310     The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
W0401     The average woman would rather be beautiful than smart
W0401     because the average man can see better than he can think.
W0402     That must be wonderful!  I dont understand it at all.
W0403     Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
W0404     Someone is speaking well of you.
W0405     Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
W0406     No great scoundrel is ever uninteresting.
W0426     Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
W0501     Some men are discovered; others are found out.
W0502     Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
W0503     When all is said and done, too many people
W0503     keep on saying and doing.
W0504     Fame is proof that people are gullible.
W0505     We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
W0506     No really great man every thought himself so.
W0507     There is as much greatness in acknowledging a good turn,
W0507     as there is in doing it.
W0508     Beware of hip and rum drivers.
W0509     Home to a young boy is merely a filling station.
W0510     Early to rise and ditto to bed, make a man healthy,
W0510     but socially dead.
W0511     Beware the man who can't be bothered with details.
W0512     Nothing beats reading a good book when there is work to do.
W0513     While forbidden fruit may be sweeter, it spoils faster.
W0514     You're smart when you only believe half of what you hear,
W0514     Wise is when you know which half to believe.
W0515     A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
W0527     While forbidden fruit may be sweeter, it spoils faster.
W0528     When seeking love give nothing, Having found love give all.
W0530     In gallant trim the gilded vessel goes,
W0530     Youth on the bow, Pleasure at the helm.
W0531     If she had lumbago she couldn't sing a note.
W0601     Show affection, it will probably meet with pleasant response.
W0602     Share your happiness with others today.
W0603     She`s learned to say things with her eyes that others
W0603     waste time trying to put into words.
W0604     Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
W0605     People will buy anything that`s one to a customer.
W0606     Ours is a world where people don`t know what they want and
W0606     are willing to go through hell to get it.
W0607     One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
W0608     One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
W0609     Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
W0610     Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
W0611     Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
W0612     No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
W0613     Never say you know a man
W0613     until you have divided an inheritance with him.
W0614     Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
W0615     Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
W0616     Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle
W0616     to get you out of Casablanca.
W0617     Matrimony is the root of all evil.
W0618     Many a family tree needs trimming.
W0619     Man and wife make one fool.
W0620     Man`s horizons are bounded by his vision.
W0621     Make new friends but keep the old, One is silver the other gold.
W0622     Make a wish, it might come true.
W0623     Love is sentimental measles.
W0624     Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
W0625     Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
W0626     Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
W0627     Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
W0628     The heart is wiser than the intellect.
W0629     May the force be with you.
W0630     It`s a poor workman who blames his tools.
W0701     It`s clever, but is it art?
W0702     It is far better to be deceived
W0702     than to be undeceived by those we love.
W0703     It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man`s life.
W0704     The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
W0705     If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
W0706     If you make a mistake,
W0706     immediately fix it to the best of your ability.
W0707     If you continually give you will continually have.
W0708     Quit work and play for once.
W0709     If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.
W0710     I`ve given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
W0711     The orator speaks, with his flood of words
W0711     and his drop of reason.
W0712     He who is good for making excuses
W0712     is seldom good for anything else.
W0713     He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
W0714     He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
W0715     He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
W0716     He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another`s mishap.
W0717     He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
W0718     Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
W0719     By following the good, you learn to be good.
W0720     Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear through.
W0721     An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
W0722     The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind.
W0723     All who would win joy must share it, happiness was born a twin.
W0724     No one is so happy or sad as he imagines.
W0725     Every anarchist is a baffled dictator.
W0726     An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.
W0727     He cannot rule the great who cannot rule the small.
W0728     No facts are sacred, none are profane.
W0729     Faith will not die while seed catalogs are printed.
W0730     Public speaking takes a two minute idea,
W0730